I CAN MOONWALK!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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