Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
