I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
