i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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