No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
