some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
