This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
