You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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