If that was your dad, he is hot
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
