two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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