She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
