I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
