let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize