First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had sex on a dog bed..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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