I skipped work to stalk him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
