so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Come on in and take your pants off
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