girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize