my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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