Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
