she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
