Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
