Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he puts the penis in happiness.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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