I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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