Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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