gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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