Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
