i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
