ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
