He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
