I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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