I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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