i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
