all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
