you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
