I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
