It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
