why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
