life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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