True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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