sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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