Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize