He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
