We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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