So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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