Tell her she can't have a vagina
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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