5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
