dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
