I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
