what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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