Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
