hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
