we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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