this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
