Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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