Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize