Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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