im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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