Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
