I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
