haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
